My Greatest Gift
The unbearable pain makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry
I smile anyway
My energy is depleted and I’m not able to sleep at night
I keep going anyway
It hurts to move, it hurts to talk, it hurts to laugh
I laugh and play anyway
I keep being told I have disabling conditions and life will be different
I live my life the most normal way I can anyway
I do what hurts, I go without sleep, I play, I giggle, I teach, I work, I create, I push on, and I fight through the pain with a smile and I never forget to enjoy the little things all because I wake up and hear two of the most beautiful strengthening words every morning…..
By: Jami Lynn
I was diagnosed with RSD/CRPS in 2007 after fracturing my fibula/ankle. At the time, I was the top producing Real Estate agent in my field and on top of the world. I was working 6-7 days a week helping people attain the American dream and it felt wonderful to be part of that for so many families. I had also been a fitness instructor and personal trainer and fitness competitor. I had worked so hard since I was a teenager to reach my dreams and slowing down was not in my vocabulary nor was accepting another incurable illness. I had many health problems in my life, but never let them stop me from doing what I wanted to do. I fought the RSD/CRPS diagnosis for a long time and even tried to find the top specialists who could tell me it was something else, something I had heard of before, something cureable. I lost the fight to that and have finally accepted it, but I won’t let it win.
For many years prior to my RSD diagnosis we had tried to have a baby. I have other medical conditions that were making it very unlikely. We had given up, but ironically, we ended up finding out I was pregnant shortly after my diagnosis. It was a very scary and difficult pregnancy with lots of complications, but we made it. A godsend, a true miracle, she’s a gift for my every day and the reason I am able to fight so hard.
When medical professionals and surgeons see me they tell me they rarely have come across anyone who has been through as much as I have and they are amazed by my strength and positive attitude. I know many of you are the same.
I have never shared my journey with anyone outside of the medical community other than my husband, so this won’t be easy for me. But I plan to do it in hopes of inspiring or strengthening someone out there. Somehow the pain gives me strength instead of despair, the higher the pain the more I want to fight against it and win.
I know some sufferers are really in a dark place right now and maybe one sentence, one word, one story, one quote can bring a light to their darkness. Many say tough times don’t last, tough people do. I don’t believe that is true for chronic pain warriors.
Tough times do last, but tough people get tougher to survive.
Sharing my medical journey is probably one of the hardest things for me and I’m not certain how I’ll do. It is very overwhelming for me, but I’m going to try to do it to help others. Even if just one person gains an ounce of strength or hope then it will be worth it.
I will try to share some different topics along the way: mindset of diagnosis in the beginning, the pregnancy, the loss of career, the other painful conditions, the coping, natural health remedies and nutrition, being a Mommy while ill, crafts and distractions that help, adjusting to a different life and becoming the new me.
It’s been a very difficult journey that I’ve never wanted anyone else to experience, so it’s been easier not to talk about it, but finally after all these years, I’m going to open some pages in my closed book and maybe inspire or give hope to someone who needs it.
Please leave a message below and welcome Jami to The Unbroken Smile.