I May Not Look Ill –
Poem About Living With Chronic Pain
I May Not Look Ill – Poem
I may not look ill but I am,
I suffer pains, you just can’t understand.
The pain and stresses I go through each day,
you’ll be surprised at some of the things that I’m going to say.
The fear of living in continuous pain,
will affect your body and your brain.
Never knowing what the future will be,
will I have more pain, how will I live, pay my bills and will I be granted disability.
These are just a few to name,
they put your stomach in knots and leave paranoia in your brain.
The part of not knowing is the most stressing you see,
stress causes flare ups and more misery.
Depression will then start to set in,
you’ll feel hopeless,
a burden and alone to begin.
Every single emotion floods through the mind,
not one can you focus on,
it’s too difficult to unwind.
You will cry, you will rage, you will seclude yourself.
You will feel as no one cares or is willing to help.
Soon you will notice you don’t have as many friends.
They and family have abandoned you and you’re at your wit’s end.
You’ll be frustrated at doctors and nurses alike,
they won’t seem to listen to you or write you off with a strike.
People will say it’s all in your head,
get up, go to work, why are you laying in bed.
Unless you have it, you will never understand or know,
this is but a glimpse of it, I’m telling you so.
I am the voice,
the one who can explain,
what pains we feel and what goes on in our brain.
Listen to me and heed my advice,
our pain is real and is like being gutted by fire and ice.
We want doctors who listen,
to medicate us right,
not be afraid of the government,
we are human and have rights.
We know there is nothing that will make our pain and stresses go away,
we just want to be comfortable in any sort of way.
We are survivors and warriors you see and I’ll tell you just why.
It takes one you see to get up each day and try.
Try to get out of bed and do what needs to be done,
being the sacrificial lamb for all our loved ones.
Trying to do everything that everyone wants,
while going through tremendous pain,
our smiles a front.
Many different masks we wear,
it’s just what we do.
So you don’t have to see the pain we’re really going through.
It drains us and leaves us tired and weak,
not to mention we are unable to sleep.
Up all night, missing who we once use to be.
Asking ourselves repeatedly, Oh God why me.
This is what we go through and rest a sure it’s not a game.
This is what’s like to live in chronic pain.
– From The Chronicle of The Insomniac Writer
About the Author:
My name is Brian McGrath and I am a Chronic Pain Warrior. I suffer from chronic pain due to a failed back surgery with instrumentation. Neuropathy, Disc Degenerative Disease, Depression, as well as pain from other surgical procedures that were necessary due to my fall at work. I am currently 45 and disabled unable to work again from a work related accident that occurred when I was 39. Throughout all of this I feel my daughter has suffered the most. She was only 7 when this happened to me and I was unable to do a lot of the things that a father should do with his child. She and I both missed out on memories to be made due to this.
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