I’m In Pain, NOT A Drug Seeker!
I’m In Pain, NOT A Drug Seeker! – My story of RSD (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy) has been a long one. I was diagnosed in December of 2014. I have been dealing with chronic back and leg pain for many years. In January of 2000, I had a Laminectomy in my lower back.
In December I was dragging my left leg. I was set up to have a epidural in my lower back and wasn’t sleeping. I went in to see the specialist and she said I believe you have RSD. I had a pain contract with my PCP and I still do. They do not listen to me and will not refer me to anything to help my pain. I felt suicidal in December and told them that. They told me to take a bath, or a walk and that I was letting my pain get away from me.
I had a EMG in May and it was negative. I expressed to the Dr that I was experiencing leg cramps or contraction type spasms. He said “everyone gets cramps“. I have been almost traumatized from the medical community.
I have over come using drugs to self medicate (alcohol and other street drugs). I have been clean over a year and a half. I refuse to give up! I am a strong cookie. I was a working, single mom of three and it took its toll on my body.
I am so very angry, I go to a federally funded program to help people who have complex issues. I was told that they have more critical patients than myself. I was told that I didn’t need pain management. My physical therapy was denied. Acupuncture was denied. The medications they give me right now do not work for the pain.
I am at a loss, so now I am fighting back. I contacted the Governors Health Advocacy line. I am contacting anyone who will listen. I am grateful for my counselor who has given me myself worth back and validation that it is not in my head.
I was in fear of going to the ER here because I am labeled as a drug seeker. I went into the ER about 7 yrs ago after not sleeping for four days due to the pain. The doc there asked me what I was on because I was slurring my words. He asked me how much I had to drink and I stated I don’t drink. He proceeded to tell me they wouldn’t help me and I started crying and said, UA (Urine Analysis) me. He said “oh we will“…ever since then I am looked upon as a drug seeker. My UA was clean, and I already knew that.
My mood is horrible this is affecting my relationships with others. I didn’t know it was okay to have this much pain in a society that has so much knowledge about pain. I still smile and try to help others. I still try to work, but its very difficult. My smile is not as sincere as it used to be and I am not happy. I am very much in a great deal of pain. I am not sure why I am unable to see a pain specialists, or a RSD specialist. Thank you for reading, so far that is my story..~ Cindy
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