A Daily Struggle –
Poem About Living With Incurable Chronic Pain
A Daily Struggle – Poem About Living With Incurable Chronic Pain
Twenty-four seven, three sixty-five, the pain grows and feels as though it’s alive.
Always present and never ending, prayers for relief seem always pending.
Awake all night with very little or no rest.
My mind won’t shut down.
Is this one of God’s trials or tests?
All at once so many thoughts and emotions flood my mind,
impossible to relax, impossible to unwind.
How I wish it all would end but the pain, the pain inside of me just doesn’t bend.
Pain has it’s own way of bringing me down,
with each new day having fewer smiles and a lot more frowns.
Like a thief it steals from me, my quality of life,
leaving behind only questions and an enormous amount of strife.
Reflecting back on the things I was able to do and who I use to be,
I look at my reflection in the mirror and say no, this cannot be me.
With no ambition or motivation I stay in my home.
A lot of friends have deserted me and left me alone.
It’s just another thing that pain has taken away,
I’m grateful for the few friends that care and have been there and stayed.
I hate that I cannot commit to plans; each days pain is different so I never know where I stand.
My pain levels are a constant seven to eight, hoping that one-day it will dissipate.
I know that it won’t but I try to have hope, because if I don’t it makes things harder for me to cope.
We’ve all had that thought that goes through our head.
The only way the pain will end is if I were dead.
I’ve had that thought so many times, but I think of my faith and family and others I’d be leaving behind.
So, that’s not for me nor should it be for you.
We must not let the pain win because that’s what it wants to do.
I write to take my focus off of my pain, find something you like to do and do the same.
I’ve been called the voice of those who suffer with pain, I put into words what others can’t explain.
We’re a family of brothers and sisters all sharing the same, this is what life is,
when you live with chronic pain.
– From The Chronicles of The Insomniac Writer
About the Author –
My name is Brian McGrath and I am a Chronic Pain Warrior. I suffer from chronic pain due to a failed back surgery with instrumentation. Neuropathy, Disc Degenerative Disease, Depression, as well as pain from other surgical procedures that were necessary due to my fall at work. I am currently 45 and disabled, unable to work again from a work related accident that occurred when I was 39. Throughout all of this I feel my daughter has suffered the most. She was only 7 when this happened to me and I was unable to do a lot of the things that a father should do with his child. She and I both missed out on memories to be made due to this.